Beau Wann, Jr.
"it's a quarter to three, no one in the place...just you and me...2 idiot dogs and 6 ungrateful cats..."
Something has sure stirred the critter community up this early morn. I guess I'm to blame. Been up since 2, tossin and turnin, worrying about the air conditioning, well, more about if there is an honest AC man out there, that speaks english, and of course, possesses a slight bit more knowledge about them than I do, assuming that I dont know diddly squat about them, other than if they blow cold, thats good, and if they blow warm, thats not so good.
Well, the above problem compounded with moving Coopers bed, has created a firestorm of...uneasiness throughout the house. Not only has Cooper taken a dislike if any of the other critters are on his bed, he also doesnt like his sheet wrinkled up and or askew. Now, he wants clean sheets everyday. And, woe be to the fool that moves his bed. I thought I was doing him a favor, putting his bed in a most favorable location, at least it seemed that way to me. Au contraire mon ami ! ! !
I tout Coopers seemingly uncommon ability to negotiate throughout the metaphysical whirld of the kids that he greets and reads with. I think that he just gravitates to someone as dumb as he is, and a first grader is probably right on his level of intelligence, if not a bit higher or lower, depending on if it's suppertime.
So, at three this morn, I put his bed back where it originally was, and moved the cat tree and jacks smaller bed I had put in it's place. Still not good enough. He just stood and stared, first in this direction, and then in the opposite direction. You cannot lead him unless he has his harness and leash on, and then if his mind, and once again, I'm assuming he has a mind, hasnt processed what is needed, he just sits down, and you aint movin him unless you got a forklift. Which brings me to the fact, with all the fetchin and totin I do round this joint, I sure could use a forklift.
It is now 5 and Cooper is finally in his bed, and alls right with the whirld, until the next occurence of whatever gets coopers mind stuck...and of course our airconditioning problem.
I was thinking, you reckon that Cooper is really, er uh, retarded? And I have asked our vet and other vets about that, and the vet community is split, one group says no, because they didnt study that at A&M, and the other group, deeper thinkers, suggest that there might be more to that than meets the eye, or er brain... His behavior suggests that he is surely an anomaly of nature.
It got me to studying on that, and searching for the illusive OZ that Dorothy and Toto and the TM, SC, and CL were all searching for. Maybe they have a brain for Cooper. "Uh, Mr Oz, say, I'm looking for a brain for my dog Cooper" says I. "Well sir" the voice on the phone says, "youve dialed the right number". "and what kind of dog is yours" says Mr Oz.. "Well sir" says I, "he is a Great Pyrenees and Lab mix". which of course illicits silence from the other end of the line. "Hello? Mr OZ? You there?" I ask . "Yes sir, I'm here, just looking in my data base, and of course I knew there was none, but just thought I'd check anyhow" says Mr OZ...
"Son, can I call you son? I'm afraid there is no such item in our inventory" says Mr OZ. "Oh shoot, and shucky darn" says I, " I was sure a hopin that you could hep me and my dog totocooper" I say. "Well, you can go online to our, er uh, discontinued and or damaged in shipment items" says Mr OZ. "Just type in www.ozbrainsheartsandcourage/dogs.com, and when the first screen comes up, click on GO TO BED...
Dont I wish ! ! ! It is now 5:33 and on my 3rd cup O joe, and of course, everyone else is sawing logs, but me....You know, I use to be against drugs, but now I'm sorta leaning towards em...Maybe if I lean far enough, I'll just fall over and conk my head and knock myself out and voila, I be asleep...Of course, there will probably be a big yellow dog leanin over me lickin my face with his foot and a half long tongue, keeping me just conscious enough to feel the pain...and not sleep! ! !
Hey WTL mon, can you bring me a cuban cigar? are you allowed to bring one in? I have never had a cuban cigar, and was wonderin if they are as good as touted! ! ! Or, maybe they are like the snails the french eat, and really an acquired taste...yuk, I dont cotton to eatin no stinkin snails...which gets me to wonderin, where are the snails? you know, the ones that climb up the outside of your windows all year long. I havent seen them in quite a spell now. Drought get em? I certainly hope so, cause they are a nusiance...
Ok, time to go...YEAAAAAA...I heard that ! ! !
Your frien and brother JabberWrocky
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