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Beau Wann, Jr.
Howdy by find waldrip frids...god a feber, sore throat, foghorn voice, hagink cough, just biserable. Been down for about a week or so. No Christmas for me. Missed seeing folks and havink Christmas dinner, although Diane brought some leftovers for my dinning delight. Not the same! Then last night, or earlier this morn we had one helluva storm. Lots O thunder and lightning and 2 and 3 quarters inch of rain, and that is official from the official CHIMACS weather station. Scared the critters half to death...not CHIMACS, the storm. CHIMACS scares me however.
What time is it? Hmmm 1:30 AM in the morning...gonna be another long and sleepless night I reckon I suppose I reckon. I am just about full to the eyebrows with tea, honey and lemon, and cough syrup and prednesone. Yeah, went to my sawbones and he was away on holiday. I guess he doesnt care at all about me, cast aside like yesterdays newspaper, and by mine own doc too.
His PA-C saw me instead. I know the PA stands for Physicians Assistant, but what is the C for? Child? She was a child, and smart too. "Mr Wann, what seems to be the problem, sick are we?" Wow, what perception, here I am just a puddle of snot on the examing room floor and she wonders if I'm sick. "well of course I'm sick you ninny, I wouldnt be here otherwise!" or woids to that defect. Well, moving ahead, she says I have what's going around, and names all the symptons. Gee thanks, couldnt have identified it without you. My brilliant wife even read the symptons to me from her I phone. "Oh look sweety, this app on my phone names all your symptons, says your sick, and with about a zillion other folks". God, I just love helpful people.
Fast forward to the drugstore..."That'll be 14 dollars and 65 cents!"..."WHAT" I yell comedicly, or try to be, and in my best foghorn voice, 14.65 for medicine, that's an outrage. I'm trying to be my parents here. The cough syrup is 14 dollars and the prednesone is .65 cents. My mon and dad moaned and groaned about the high cost of medicine for years. I dont think 14.65 is too exorbitant for meds that dont work. The prednesone seems to be working, but not so the cough syrup. Only way I can tell if the prednesone is working, suppose to be for my lungs, but a side effect is that it helps to alleviate pain. I'll take that side effect any day.
You can judge for youself about the cough syrup, suppose to stop my cough, (cough cough cough) see I'm still coughing, and it's suppose to make me sleeby, and as you can see, I'm wide awake, well I am drinking coffee. Hmmm, maybe I can find Gilligans Island on the tely, that ought to put me to sleep, or bore me to death, or both, whichever comes foist.
Hmmm, no Gilligans island, but plenty of "but wait, dont answer yet, if you call now, you get these handy dandy ginzu knives, but wait, dont answer yet, if you call even sooner than now, we will DOUBLE your order...." blah blah blah.....You know, if I buy all the silver and gold coins they advertise, like a silver dollar for 19.95, that use to cost what, a dollar? what good are they? "Well, if the stuff hits the fan, and we have a depression, you will be set with lots of valuable silver and gold coins that will help you through the crisis"! ! ! Sounds like the ol "Tom Sawyer, paint my fence Ploy".
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but if everyone but me has no money, or valuable silver and gold coins, who's going to buy them? and why? You cant eat them or drink them, so what good are they? I can get more cans of tuna and vienna sausages and pork and beans for 19.95, and I can eat them. I decided to put my money in Whiskey!
Now there's a commodity that folks would spend money on if the SHTF!!! I also have a plethora of mason jars on hand to fill up half way with whiskey and the other half with water. See a mixed drink already packaged, and for the measly sum of 19.95, ha take that ol Mr Y2K. "but wait, dont answer yet, for another 19.95, we'll sell you another jar of the majic elixir from the fountain of youte" ! ! ! !
Is it morning yet? Well, yes, but no sunrise, yet. Oh goody, 5 more hours till that event...oh god, they're selling lipozene for 29.95, and doubling that order for free"....What the hell is lipozene? another stupid/smart drug...stupid if you buy it, and smart when you discover it does nothing for you, cept make you poorer. Hold on, got to get another cup O Joe... Ok, I'm back. Stayed longer than I figgered..found an old cinnimon roll that hadnt turned green yet...hmmm, a half stick O butter and a microwave sure do make it good.
This must be Dick Powell week on TCM. How do you figger that, oh psychic one? Well. they're into the 5th or 10th Dick Powell movie in a row. I liked Dick powell, consumate actor! good looking too! He's in a western at this moment. You know what I noticed about westerns, most all of them? The hats! Most of the hats the cowboys and outlaws wear look like they came from the 5 and dime store. No really good hat, like a stetson or resistol, has a seam around the edge of the brim, none! And a lot of the guys wear a hat too small for their heads. I guess that's sos you can see their faces clearly on the movin picture screen, eh what!
Hey Bennie, nice going on trying to save that kitten. Unfortunately try as we might, we cant save them all, but at least we tried. Guess I should say goodnight now huh! My "this little piggy got none" toe hurts. Wonder what that means? Dont have to ponder that one long, it's from stumping it on everything in the house at one time or another. Why dont you just wear house shoes? well, I cant find them! Well, why not? Cause I had to sit down and stop looking for them because I stumped my toe! Well why do you keep stumpin your toe? because I cant find my house slippers.......
Well say goodnight Gracie, "goodnight Gracie"....
Your frien and resident whacko insomniako...Olbeauwankanobie esq..
Post Script: Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.....
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