Beau Wann, Jr.
Hey Kay ! A glass of wine or two never hurts. Well, in my case, not a wine lover, a glass or two of some super fine Rebbeca Creek sippin whiskey and a good 5cent cigar! Donno what gives with my right leg swelling up on me since the third cast was put on 2 weeks ago. yould think I'd had surgery on it or something. OH, that's right I did. One more day and a wake up and a few hours before this dang thang comes off. I cannot wait, I might just go get the skil saw and taker off myneownself. How hard can it be, after all I'm somewhat of a brain surgeon, having removed 4 500 dollar apiece stitches and with great success I might add.
Nah, guess I'll wait for Dr Kildare to take it off, He seems to enjoy using that saw of his and a prybar. Man, I hope I can walk again alright. You never miss freedom until you dont have it anymore! Havent driven my truck, the hummer, dianes car or any of the tractors, not to mention my MC for two months. Once I get the A-ok, I'm going to take a MC trip into Chappell Hill, yeah, that's the ticket...providing I can still see!
Yup, now I'm having trouble with my eyes. Got floaters and lightning in my right eye, and sometimes it feels real strained, like I've been punched in the eye. Plus I'm seeing double. Not all the time, just some of the time. Called 3 opthamologists up here in Katmandu, and one was too busy, one was out of town and one said, " you need to come in immediately, how's Wednesday work for you"? Hmmmm, immediately, we calld friday and he says Wednesday. Well, that gave me time to think and to prepare for being a crippled blind man or is it a blind crippled man?.
Jumped on the internet looking for one of those white, red tip folding canes, a nice stainless steel tin cup for "alms for the blind" and a couple of seeing eye dogs. I feel like I'll need two dogs to look after my needs and keep me safe from harm! I know, it's no joking matter, but whatcha gonna do, call ghost busters? I'd started memorizing distances in steps, but had stop that, because I can only take one step, and then roll with the scooter. I've already memorized the TV remotes long ago, so that's a go!
I know where the liquor cabinet is and the coffee and pot, and of course the Loo. I can go outside sometimes but other times no of course. First I'd have to find the door to GO outside. I think I've got the location of the doors. Now comes the touchy situation of me being armed and dangerous. If I cant see, how will I know who to shoot at? Now comes the 2nd seeing eye dog, a simian protection dog. Properly trained, they can distinguish friend from foe in the dark, and they cant be taken away from you and used against you, pretty neat idear huh!
I'm hoping to get one that has mastered the english language, so they can actually tell me who to shoot at and which direction..."yo blind dude, shoot now, oops no, you killed the fridge, a little to the left, oh man, there goes the pantry, say why dont you just let me shoot them, oh that's right, no opposable thumbs. Ok then, I'll just rip their necks open...." Or something to that defect!
Big day tomorrow, oops, it's after midnight, so it is tomorrow, well then later on today, my eldest is being rebaptized. I dont know which church, but somewhere on I10 around Eldridge methinks. Even if I knew, I'd just forget, so I really like to be kept in the dark...plausible deniability I believe it's called. That's one good thing about being deaf, If I cant hear you, then I am not responsible. "The deaf dumb and blind guy, sure plays a mean pinball"....I hate pinball, never been good at it.
Oh, went to the eyeball doctor, and they dialated my eyes, and then shined lights in them, if I wasnt blind before, all the bright lights they shined in them would soon render me blind. He held up fingers, "how manyh fingers am I holding up, look at my ear", you know all the things an eyeball doc uses to help diagnose stuff. He says he didnt see any problem at all in my right eye...oh what the hell does he know? He gave me some instructions for when I see lightning. Hold my arm out to the side and wiggle my fingers to see if I can see them with my peripheral vision. I can, but how does that help my eye?
Diane, the person not as smart as I, says that if I cant see my fingers wiggling, then they look for detached retina! Oh, what does she know anyway? My fingers would wiggle anyway, whether I saw them or not, you know how fingers are!
Well, one more day with a fiberglass leg, then das boot again, and maybe just a week in that! I need to go clean it up, get all the sticker burrs and weeds plucked off it from when I was on the tractor mowing the hill. Dont want Dr Ben Casey to see that I was doing stuff like mowing and stuff. Ok, time to deplane boss....
I hope to see yall at Goode Co BBQ sometime soon, or maybe here. With me going blind and all, we need to do it soon. I think I can recognize everyone by their voices...say something! Yeah, that's what I thought, Jenny Taylor, right? I knew it....so there you are...
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