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Beau Wann, Jr.
Amen TJ...yup, this will be more funner than bootcamp...hell, a root canal is more funner than bootcamp...Speaking of bootcamp, that's where I learned to eat katsup on my eggs! The eggs there were suppose to be scrambled, and were, sort of. The cook threw the eggs onto the gridle on one side and then slid them off on the otherside in a bucket of sorts, then slopped em on aa metal tray...hmmm yum...
Welllllll, Saturday after my moms services, everyone went out to eat, except us. We had to get home to give Jack his meds. Missing the appointed time for his meds is not an option. So, Sunday my son and his wife and Diane and I, and the daughter of a cousin and two of my neices and one of their husbands all met at a "hoity toity" restaurant on the southwest corner of I-10 and Gessner, in the Memorial Hospital system. The name of the restaurant is STATE FAIR, maybe youve eaten there, and like it. Well that's ok, different tastes and all.
Diane and I thought we'd try their breakfast, eggs any way, sausage, bacon, hashbrowns and a cathead biscuit. Why they call it a cathead biscuit I dont know, none of my cats heads look like a biscuit, and I certainly wouldnt want to take a bite out of one. Although most all of my cats have taken a bite out of me on more than one occasion, but that's another story.
The waitress asked me how I wanted my eggs, to which I replied "scrambled", to which she replied, how do you want those cooked? " Say what? You know, SCRAMBLED ! ! ! "would you like them soft, medium or well done, scrambled? " Not thinking, which is so me, I said, "I guess medium" seeing as how I didnt want "blackened eggs" like I have sometimes cooked, nor raw like my bootcamp days..... time passes...
Out comes our waitress with about half the kitchen staff with everyones food, along with our "MEDIUM" scrambled eggs....yup, BOOTCAMP EGGS ! ! ! ! Sometimes people just try to get too cute with food. I asked the waitress if they had any katchup or hotsauce, and she was shocked, nay horrified that I would want to cover up the head chefs bootcamp scrambled masterpiece.
The eggs were not the onliest (east texas for only) thing that was wrong. There were two huge sausage patties, and I thought, "ah ha, something good"...au contraire mon ami....too much garlic! ! ! ! I DONT WANT GARLIC FOR BREAKFAST UNLESS DRACULA IS STARING AT ME FROM ACROSS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE, AND HE HASNT EATEN YET ! ! ! ! ! Sausage was a bust ! Next came the bacon! It was as hard a piece of bacon as I have ever tried to eat. It was also sweet with jalapeno seeds on it, just awful. They must have found some old "hardtack" from some wandering "cookie" offin wagon train!
Onliest (east texas for only) thing left to try was the "cathead" biscuit and hashbrowns. At least those last two items were edible, but not much better than I could cook. I'm not generally a complainer unless it is bad food at a restaurant, and an expensive yuppie restaurant at that. Place was packed, about a thousand TVs and folks laughing and enjoying themselves. I'm thinking everyone, but me, must have been on valium or prozac since I was the onliest (east texas for only) one not laughing.
I've probably eaten a lot of things questionable, being in some of the out of body and out of mind states that I have been in over the years, and that's to be expected. Although, I dang near starved to death going through Survival training and a simulated POW training camp called EVADE AND ESCAPE SCHOOL in the service.
We made rabbit stew from a dying rabbit, I think he probably died laughing staring at a bunch of skinny idjits arguing over how we were going to catch that rabbit and cook him. For potatoes we found some kind of vile root, and some folks wanted to throw in lizards and frogs etc...."uh guys, I think I'm gonna pass on dinner tonight. "
After going through 3 different survival scenarios, jungle, desert, and a life raft in the ocean, and then in a simulated POW compound, It sure seemed real enough to me, we all were pretty hungry! On the life raft, we had to catch fish and eat it raw. As they say, GAG ME WITH A PIECE OF RAW FISH! thinking back on that gives me shivers! I know, here we had all the sushi one could eat, and I complained, silly me! ! !
I danged near starved to death that whole month. Onliest think that kept me alive was knowing I was going to get to eat a real meal sooner or later, hopefully sooner!
As we all know, I didnt starve to death! come danged close though, on numerous occasions!
My first experience with food, after bootcamp, was at the Naval Patrol Squadron, where they actually COOKED the food. It was all pretty good, but no where near comparison to the flyboys chow hall on the Air Force bases. First Air Force base we invaded, cant tell you which one, but the guy behind the griddle, I'm assuming he was a chef, asked me how I wanted my eggs, and how many!
I looked at the chef rather questionably, and said, "say what"? "Really"? said I...I was looking around for guys smirkin and laughing at the joke they pulled on a "swabbie", and the chef said , "no really, how would you like your eggs, and how many?" So I told him over medium, about 3 of them, some bacon and biscuits or toast and gravy, whichever is handy, and hash browns are cool, some chocolate milk, orange juice and some good coffee! ! ! Brothers and sisters, I got all the aforementioned, cooked to perfection..."I have died and gone to heaven".
I asked the cook if he smoked, and what brand, and he said sure, Kools, you want a cigarette? No, no , I dont smoke, just wanted to know if you did. I went straight to the BX and bought a carton of Kools for 2 dollars and went back and gave them to him. He said I didnt really need to do that, that it was his job to cook good meals for folks! I told him he sure did that, and to accept the gift as my thanks for doing his job so well. Anytime we ever visited there, and he was on duty, he always gave me the best of the best, and I always rewarded him with a carton of smokes or anything else I could think that he would like.
Food has always been a must for me...well duh, huh? I suppose it 's a must for everyone ifin you wish to make it to the next week or so. back in them good ol days, I barely weighed 130 pounds if that. Now I dont weigh too much more than that at this time....well, maybe a little more.
this sure went on long didnt it! Ok, I forgot what I really got on here for, maybe I'll think of it later. I think tonight is a "no sleep" night as was last night. At least there wont be any T and L (thunder and lightning) I hope!
I promise I wont do anything weird to the food at the fun day. I'll let Diane cook it and doctor it up, and I'll just fetch and tote.
See ya later crocodile...
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