Beau Wann, Jr.
Batman here...Batman? Why yes Virginia, since I started out my first day in Pony League Baseball, at the American legion field, as BATBOY, instead of player, stands to reason now after 70 years, I are Batman...
Well, maybe Tomahto Man..."Tomahto Tomahto man, I wanna be a Tomahto man...", or woids to that defect....
Jimmie lee, you are correct, aint no retirement for us...retardment maybe, but not retirement....but, that's ok, cause when most folks retire and quit and slow down, that's when you break down and shorten your days on this mortal whirld...with the goings on up here on Denali, I'll live forever...
Just thought I'd report, all's safe on the western front...I shot and killed one of the boys SS water bowls this morning...I swear, it looked like a skunk from the distance I sawr it in the light of my trusty boyscout flashlight...plus it was in the middle of the side of the back yard, totally out of place....there's one water bowl that wont hurt anyone thanks to me...
It was black on the sides and white down the middle...or so it loooked...well, it could have been a skunk, or a mountain lion...
Yup, it has been reported that a mountain lion was seen in the vacinity...no joke...I know we have a big bobcat, cause I have that ol boy on the game camera saying cheese...We had noticed that the last two weeks, we have seen no rabbits or any critters hanging around, and before, for the past year or so, this was bunny land...
Jack and Cooper have, no let me rephrase that, Jack has been acting peculiar the last two weeks, Cooper has been acting peculiar for the last 9 years...When Jack goes out, he lowers his head and the hair has been standing up the back of his neck, or at least the last t wo weeks...no bunnies, no armadillos, no skunks, nothing moving at all...
Next door neighbor, next door? Well, for out here, it's next door, even though it's a mile away...anyway, Chris said one of his calves was missing...and he mentioned the mountain lion...I thought he was funnin me and just pullin my leg, but he was serious. I asked him how much the calf weighed, and he said 300 pounds ! ! ! That'd have to be some large pussy cat to make a haul like that....
It would have to drag it a long distance, because there were no buzzards hanging around the area...there was also no blood...but, he said the mama cow had her nose to tthe ground following a path where her baby might have been dragged along...
I thought I detected a problem, when I heard the mama bawling...they do that when the calves are taken away from them, bawl for two weeks...and since it wasnt time for them to be taken away, it was out of the ordinary...of course everything here is out of the ordinary....not me of course....
I must also report that I almost shot our scarecrow several times, and probably will before too long...Diane made a scarecrow out of one of my old pair of biboveralls and a denim shirt and red scarf....when we were fighting the nazis wind, released by them opening up the "Ark of the Covenant" and gale storm, )ha thought I'd throw that in ( the wind caught that ol scarecrow and blew him, it, along the fence line...
I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye, and pulled my 45 out ready to blast whatever it was...(I had the option of a 45 or 9MM, or my Rambo knife) but opted for my .45, since not much can stand up to it...I had the hammer back and ready to go, ready to defend to the death my beloved as she was out saving the whirlds ENTIRE ecological system....and the whirlds economic health, all wrapped up in one stinkin tomato plant....
She, my beloved, totally unaware of my heroism, fought the elements, (better than fighting elephants), as I, "CAPTAIN TOMAHTO MAN", drew down on certain death, Jason? Michael Meyers? Frrrrahkenstein? Texas chainsawr masacre guy?
Nope, worse than all those combined...our scarecrow....well, he, it is scary sometimes...laying there, floppin in the wind, like scarecrows are want to do, scarin the bejeebers out of crows and real jumpy folks...not me you understand, but others....well, you stand out in gale storm force winds in the middle of a dark and stomy night, and see if you dont react to a scary crow guy coming at you...HA and ha...so there ! ! ! !!!!!
Cooper was outside witness to all the goings on, he can confirm everything I have said...and would too, if he could talk...so, guess you'll have to take my woid for it....
Anyway, like I've reported, all's quiet on the western front...cept it's still sprinklin...idjit weather people said we were through with the rain, YESTERDAY....liar liar pants on fire...of course out here, not much could catch on fire with all the rain...well, that's ok...
Wee also put down 50 pounds of winter rye grass seed hoping that it would help the soil here, and help keep some of the errosion in check...well, we will see what we will see....
Ok, Tomahto Man has to sign off, the coffee is perkin and the aroma of the bacon is wafting gently to and fro in our conestoga hut...
Keep the sun at your six, and your tomatos safe...
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