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Beau Wann, Jr.
Yup, gotta love that good ol outside aire! ! ! Having grown olde and softier, ah kinda prefer my aire preceded by the name Trane, Fedders, Fredrich or Carrier! The one thing I do love about hunting or fishing, is the comraderie and fellowship of your fellow comraderiees and other wise good friends!
I tried hunting those pesky mad deranged and evil dove oncet! They're pretty hard to hit with a knife, especially if they're on the wing. A knife? Yup, thought I'd give the little varmits an equal chance...I cant fly, and they dont carry guns or knives!
After a while, I gave up on trying to bag one with my barlow knife, so then I got a bowie knife! Those dang thangs are so heavy, a body would have to actually be on the back of one of those little deranged buggers, and then you might just cut something important, like yourownself! I decided that I would rather hunt chickens instead. So much more to eat , they are slower and cant really fly like doves can. Plus, I have a bone to pick (pun intended) with chickens! At the tender and innocent age of 5, I was the target of an unprovoked and brutal attack by a mean ol rooster at my grandparents home!
I remember it like it was yesterday, the attack was so savage. I went into the coop with my grandmother to gather eggs in a basket. I got to carry the egg basket, I was so proud! Anyway, Mam Mah was lifting the henny pennys up gently and taking all but one egg out of the nests! I spied a nest with no henny penny sitting on it, and there was only one egg. Here's my chance to be helpful! I picked the egg up, and it had a funny color and feel! Almost like a lightbulb! It was a glass egg I found out later. I didnt know chickens laid lightbulbs!
No sooner had I put the "funny" egg in the basket, when a mean ol rhoad island red rooster, almost as tall as me, ran up and bit my pointing finger on my left hand. It bled and I cried! Well, I was only five at the time, so crying was allowed as long as an adult male was not present, and an adult male chicken didnt count. After all, it was HE that caused the problem!
Mam Mah was so incensed that someone or something would attack her only grandson, she grabbed that mean ol tyrannosaurus rex chicken, wrung it's neck, plucked it and threw it in a pot of burgoo she had bubbling in a rather large cauldron!! So you see where my troubles started with the genus maddus evilus chickenus!
I now confine my hunting and fishing to the hallowed aisles of K rogers! yup, you dont have to do much to bag a chicken or get a stringer of fish at K rogers! And, you can get em already cooked up and or frozen! There's not much fellowship and or comradiere at K rogers, but I do try to spark up a conversation with a few of the patrons! Most of em that see me coming, hurry along to the next aisle! "Oh God, here comes that yakin idjit with the cowboy hat. RUN"! Maybe I should wear a disguise!
Thank goodness for ol Mr. Birdseye and his invention of frozen dinners and such! They were'nt as good then as they are now, but time and trials usually has a way of making things better. Politicians are an exception to that rule, they get more rotten as time goes by, but I really dont want to open that can of stinkin woims!
You know, I mentioned "burgoo" that my grandmother was cooking. I didnt know what burgoo was, and it's still been sort of a mystery, until recently when I found a recipe in my grandmothers trunk for "KENTUCKY BURGOO"! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You wont believe it...I thought it a joke, but the recipe book is dated 1912.
KB, as I will call it, came from Kentucky, obviously, and was served at the Kentucky Derby, or so they say! You could also serve this, as the recipe stated, at political rallys and horse sales and any other outdoor activity. a Mr J.T. Looney is credited with the recipe. "LOONEY"? come on, that sure sounds suspicious to me, but we will go with that for now till a better explanation comes along!
I know this is runnning long, but I just kant hep it...bein an algebra genius and all...
The recipe is kind of long, or has a lot of ingredients to it:
600 pounds of lean soup meat (no fat and no bones)
200 pounds of fat hens...preferably beheaded and plucked
2000 pounds of potatoes peeled and diced
200 pounds of onions
5 bushels of cabbage chopped
60 ten pound cans of tomatoes
24 ten pound cans of tomatoes puree
24 ten pound cans of carrots
18 ten pound cans of corn
red pepper and salt to taste...season with worcestershire, tabasco or A1 sause
cook over wood fires 15 to 20 hours...use squirrels in season...one dozen squirrels per 100 gallons...
They say this makes 1200 gallons of the stuff...hmmm at one pint per person, that would serve 9600 people give or take...I wonder if I could cut this recipe down for two people...
I dont know who they were planning on feeding, but something in it with a ton of potatoes and an almost half ton of meat, had to be the jolly green giant, or Jacks bean stalk giant...you could feed everyone at a souper bowl game, twicet!
The recipe in the book states "Burgoo is literally a soup composed of many vegetables and meat delectably fused together in enormous caldrons, over which at the exact moment, a rabbit's foot at the end of a yarn string is properly waved by a colored preacher, whose salary has been paid to date"!!!! "These are the good omens by which the burgoo is fortified."
---"CAREY'S DICTIONARY OF DOUBLE DERIVATIONS"
All the aforementioned is in an actual recipe book, dated about 1912 methinks, on page one. I'll have to look at the title page again! (its up in the antique booth) It also has a recipe for Pigeon Pie; Pendennis Turtle Soup,(the soup that made Kentucky famous) or so it says. And for all you Beverly Hill Billy lovers, it has a recipe for Opossum, with stuffing..."grannys favorite I'm sure"
Ok, I'll sign off for now...although I've gone and made myself hungry...again!
Your frien and brother-in-classmate...Uncle R E Lee Burgoo
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