Beau Wann, Jr.
Oh Marcie Marcie Marcie, mercy mercy mercy...you dont know how long I've waited just to hear your voice...and offer me a scuba mask...thats the ticket...I must say a #3 scuba mask would improve my looks somewhat...WHAT? IS THAT THUNDER I HEAR? Hells bells, it sure is, My guard dog Cactus Jack just went at warp spppppeeeddddd under the bed. (the preceeding was a fwee weather weport) fwom elmer fudd no doubt!
fingers messing up. I better straighten up, or Jimmie lee will come smack my fangers with a ruler. Honest JL, I'm not looking at the keey boardddd! Obviously!
No really Marcie, I have thought of you often...I had an 8 X 10 BW picture of you and I backstage in the auditorium at Waltrip, (NOOOO, really?) yup at Waltrip... and I am handing you a bouquet of roses or some sort of flawrs...I have searched for that photo to no end, and I'm pretty sure my first trial wife #1 threw it away!
I dont know who took the picture, or how I wound up with it, but I treasured it, till it disappeared! The picture was completely respectable, we were at least 6 ft apart...I think it was for something in Mrs Blounts class...once again, nooooooooooooo really? Mrs Blount was sure a hoot wasnt she! Takes a special kind of lady to put up with us, or at least me anyhoosier!
Marcy, I havent seen you in 50 years, I always thought you were some kind of special. Looking forward to seeing you this Octember, or is it septober, no matter. I have to warn you though, you wont recognasize me. gotten so old and ugly, I dont even recognasize mineownself in the mirror. Well, I wasnt no prize before I got old either! (not a fishing expedition for a compliment, I've got eyes, fuzzy though they may be)...
Speaking of flawrs. my jawbone is sorta ok...most of the payne is gone...Doc Hollidayette kept asking me if I felt anything, like a pinch! I said "no, feels like an ice pick you been a stobbin me with!" "other than that, it feels just wonderful" She said "you shouldnt feel anything at all"..."how about stress" says I..."oh dont be stressed, relax and breathe"..."ok" says I, "then you sit here and let me a stob you with an icepick and see ifin you dont feel stressed you out"...
Nah, she really was pretty good, sort of overly cautious about the box I checked that said I had asthma. Seems novacaine has adrenaline in it to clear the lungs and help you breathe better. I can vouch for that, cause many a asthma attack found me in the ER getting a shot of adrenaline so I could breathe. Seeing as how breathing is an important part of, oh say LIVING, I was glad to get one of those shots!
She asked did I have my inhaler with me, to which I replied, "No"...she said I could go home and get it and she would wait for me! Now, call me silly, but I think she was just trying to get me to hell out of her office! If I had gone home, and got it, I'd be willin to bet, I would have come back to an empty orfice. She would have moved out lock stock and novacane! But no, I held fast, really held fast on the arms of her char! got my fanger prints embedded in the arms of that chair!
All through the proceedure she kept telling me to breathe! Seems I do have a problem with holding my breath when I'm in the midst of a ice pick jobbin me in the jaw, but what the hell, I'm just a kook. )boy, you can say that again( no, I dont think I will! She also had a blood pressure machine and an oxygen counter hooked up to me. 120/70 even in the icepick stobbin mode! O2 98 percentile...sure is good to know them figgers!! Then my blood pressure took a dip to 113/73, and rat smak dab in the middle of her blood lettin too. I'm just a shaolin priest eh what! "when you can snatch the pebble from my hand grasshopper, then you will be a man"!
All the while I was a setttttin in her barber/dentist chair, my mind wandered, in between the ice pick jobbin, about the saxophone player that died in a dentist chair! He was alergic to novacaine. For the life of me I cant think of his name, but at one time a big name on the Jazz circuit! Anyway, I survived the ice pick onslaught, through sheer super hero powers! You didnt know I was superman and batman combined did you! Well you did knhow I was batty, and now you knhow I'm super batty. ( dont know why I spelled know, knhow! Fingers messin up, sorry JL)
Another weather report, whether you want it or naut! It's raining! ! ! Film at eleven!
Looks like it stopped raining. Guess I'll gather up ol Coop and mosey on over to the antique mall and straighten up our booth. We moved to a smaller space! Seems we sold most of our larger items! Cant for the life of me figger out why any one would want to buy that crap, I mean really great antiques!
Well mouseketeers, happy trails...
your loopy frien, Morticai Magillicuty RE Lee Burgoo esq...
Post script: I really do have a BATMAN watch to prove I'm batty
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