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Beau Wann, Jr.
Good Morrow Mine Waltripians.
Will you just look at the time! Been lounging around in bed way yonder too long this morn! Why, the sun is almost up, or will be in a couple of hours. Just wasting the day aint I?
I woke up thinking about my back porch bedroom days on DuBarry, and how utterly uncomplicated time and effort was! Of course then, I thought everything was complicated...school, school and school....yuk I hated it! Loved the socializing but could have done very well without conjugating any stupid verb! I have grown to love english now, dangling that participle, splitting that infinitive...yeah boy! What fun!
Now, I've forgotten some of my multiplication table like whats 9 X 6? Sometimes I have to work backwards towards things, and always have really! So what is 9 X 6? It is 54 of course! But how I arrived at it is pretty convaluted. I just substitute 10 for 9 and everyone knows that 10 times 6 is 60, right? Well, then I subtract 6 and voila, 54 ! I pretty much have done this forever except when we MEMORIZED the "times table". It's kind of like trying to figure out the tip on your meal, (I abhor tipping for bad service, and most of it is bad)!
The way I figured a 15% tip, is start with 10% and then cut that in half and add it to the 10%, and voila...15% tip! I had a girlfriend once that was a serious math major....WHAT? you dont think I ever had a girl friend? Well, I did...and plenty of em! Well, at least one or two. Anyhoo, Mel was about as smart as anyone I ever met, cept she was a liberal, but we put our political difs aside and had a wonderful relationship! (she converted later on, finally).
Anyway, she said her mother figured out the 15% tip the same way! Mel just did the math in her head and quickly I might add. She taught high school math in Austin back in the 70's! Mah freewheelin days! Of course, I thought, after the fact, that a particular time was "mah freewheelin days"! But really my backporch bedroom days were about as freewheelin as you could get! Cept for school of course, oh yeah, visited that anomally havent I!
Back to my DuBarry days and the back porch, I remember my mom teaching me how to tie my shoes and get the buttons and holes on my shirt lined up just so! Now I cant tie my shoes anymore, good thing I wear boots, and even at that, I still have trouble getting them on and off and I cant seem to get my buttons and the holes on my shirts lined up anymore!
Just can't make my hands and fingers work right anymore, not to mention my shoulders...OMGosh...trying to get up is just agony, whether I'm sitting or laying down. Gonna have to install one of those trappise thingys above the bed and couch and chairs, just like they have in hospitals!
Of course I guess I could just move into a rehab center...forever...yuk not looking forward to that! Our new house will have polished concrete floors, so my wheel chair, when that time comes, should be able to move about easy, and 4 ft hallways and grab bars etc! I'll have to install wheel stops on the end of the porch so I dont roll off it and down the 1200 foot hillside into the creek, kersplash! Come to think of it, that might not be so bad, if I had a rope and pully system, I could just roll down, slowly, take a bath in the creek, and then pull myself back up the hill! Yeah, thats the ticket! Speaking of which, I could probably sell tickets so folks could watch that type of frivolity and jocularity and all round fun!
Of course at 1200 ft, I would lose sight of the house. I remember always being a good and fast reader, even before I started school! I knew words and their meanings long before other kids my age, and even older. Had the eyesight of an eagle! Now, it's more of an eagle with his eyes closed! I was surfing the tv menu, and came across "Lonesome Dove"! Man, I've got to call Teddy and let him know it's on! I sat there for a while, waiting for it to come on, watching a cosmetic commercial...man these commercials are long!
My beloved came into the room, and asked me why I was watching an infomercial! "It's Lonesome Dove" says I! Diane hits the menu button and there it was plain as day, LANCOME PARIS! ! ! ! "Well from across the room it looked like "Lonesome Dove", I protested! Not perzactly the first time my eyesight has mistaken stuff. On HWY 6 at I-10, there is a school that has a sign on the fence that I always thought said "FORKLIFT VESTIBULE..." I always wondered just what a forklift vestibule was! Till my beloved and I happened to be traveling that path!
I showed her the sign and asked her what that was, well, I know what a forklift was, but a forklift vestibule? She looked at me like well, I was crazy (and secretly I am) ! She says rather emphatically "thats FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL sweety. We really need to get you in to see the eye doctor." Oh and dont worry, I'll lead you in" she says....dang smartallecky wives!
I need some orange juice, so I think I will deplane here boss...everyone is still asleep, cept big oliver. He is wrapped around my feet, keeping them warm, and giving himself and my feet a bath. His tongue must be 60 grit sandpaper! Have to move just so, lest he sink his saber teeth into my delicate feets! YOW OLLIE! DANG BOY WHY YOU GOT TO BITE ME???? oh the humanity...the agony of de feet....Dang stupid ingrate cat!
Keep the sun at your xis, when it comes up...and ride boldly ride...
your frien and brother-in-classmate Attila the hun gry...
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