Beau Wann, Jr.
Barefoot Paige Honey!!!!!! That was Wayne that was hot on that scooter that you burned your leg on...I use to like to go barefoot, that is before I had THA ACCIDENT ! ! ! I was about 8 or 7 or 9, somewheres around PP, (pre puberty), and I was running amok down where??? Down on DuBarry, where else!!! You know, how some of the houses back then, had a wooden fence built coming out the side of the house, made to look like it was part of the house????? Well, the house next door was like that. Me and Jeff, the kid next door, were playing cowboys and indians, or WWII or some such imagination driven scenario. We were running barefoot, hither and yon, to and fro, when we spotted the enemy across the street in the Morrows iron ore driveway. Jeff jumped the built on fence at his house to escape the bullets or arrows, so I followed suit...just like the cowboys or soldiers on one of the two TV channels we had, where they would put their hands on the object, and then swing both legs over and voila, your behind the fence, boulder, water trough etc...
Somehow, in the whole wide whirld, there was a splinter, just waiting to invade somewhere in my person...yup!!!! MY BIG TOE ! ! ! But, not just my toe, but under my big toenail all the way to the quick. I immediately suspected something was wrong...I was a semi-bright kid back in my injun fightin days...There was pain....yes, pain...not the crying type, but the kinda realization pain that makes you realize that tha REAL pain hadnt actually started...just the mind pain that comes with knowing in your mind that a visit to good ol Doc Gould was sure to follow, and that was never a good thing...
I tried to hide it later on, by wearing shoes, and maybe nobody would notice...that woulda worked, cept for the limp..."whasa matter with your foot boy", I heard someone say..."oh, nothing, just stubbed my toe", was my reply...
Dang, and my dad and I and the rest of the Wild Bunch were going to go target shooting down at some river or bayou....you could actually do that back then, and not get arrested or shot...seems there were'nt too many gun ranges cept the river banks back in them DuBarry days...Well, I tuffed it out and limped through the excursion into Samuel Colts whirld...
Got back to DuBarry, when my dad said, "you better let me look at your stumped toe"...how did parents know when something was serious and when something wasnt????
I dont know why I thought that the splinter would go away, and everything would be ok, but thats what I thought...remember now, I was a semi-bright kid...So my dad takes my shoes and socks off, and sees right away the offending "stumped toe"...you could actually see the splinter under my toenail, probably an inch or so long..."yup, you really did it this time" dad said...
Yup, apparently I did...seems I was always in the habit of "really doing it this time" so many times, even the "really bad things" got to be ho hum...
"Margaret", my dad hollared to my mom, "Gonna have to take ol tree stump here to Doc Goulds" he finished off...ANTICIPATION TEARS...oh man, I was snifflin and snortin and blurry eyed and doing some silent whining...my dad didnt allow outloud whining...so here we go, piled into the 51 ford headed for certain death for sure...that was one time I wished good ol doc goulds office was on the other side of the whirld...but noooooooo, only up to ella and 43rd, tucked away in the corner of the small shopping center just down from Fairchilds Mens shop, and next to Marks Jewelers....
We go inside, me limpin of course, and Frankie, good Ol Doc Goulds chief nurse, cook and bottle washer, noticed me limpin..."got a problem with your foot" she says....back then, I wasnt a smart alleck, like now, or I woulda uttered, "no, it's Saturday, and I allus limp on Saturdays", or some such REAL SEMI-BRIGHT remark..."howdy Harold" Frankie said to my dad, "yall sit down and Doctor Gould will be right with you" ...Man, I was hopin good ol Doc Gould would get called away on brain surgery, or some such emergency, then I would get a reprieve of sorts...funny how the mind of a "semi-bright" kid works aint it...
"Ok Mr Wann, yall go on back" I heard Frankie say...."WHINE WHINE WHINE" that is until I got "the look" from my dad..."the no whining look, or I'll give you something to whine about Look"
Good ol Doc Gould tells me to jump up on the table, or whatever it was called, and takes a look at the offending appendage..."boy, you really did it this time didnt you" says good Ol Doc Gould... How many times I was gonna hear that phrase, was infinity times pi...and that didnt include the times I would actually say to my self, "boy, you really did it this time", like the time I stepped off the airplane in San Diego into the waiting arms of my new best friend and mother, MY DRILL INSTRUCTOR...but I digress...seems us "semi-bright"kids do that alot...
Any way, Good ol Doc Gould pulls out his barlow knife, bowie knife, machete, samuri sword etc, and just grins and chuckles, like I was to hear him do for 40 years of "boy you really did it this time" (great bedside manner)..."ok, we'll have this fixed up in no time" he says...I also noticed Frankie standing behind him looking over his shoulder with a 55 gallon drum of alcohol, ready to throw on me and kill me along with the germs she was so famous for killing...I wonder if she was kin to Lizzie Borden???? Well, anyway, ol Doc Gould commenced to cuttin and diggin and I was whinning and crying, outloud, and I didnt care about who noticed it, or about getting the "no whinning and crying allowed glare" from my dad or anyone else either eyether, neither neyether, also too...
He cut a V into my toenail, and there was the offending log...grabs his tweezers, and plucked, or pulled the giant sequoia red wood forest out from under my big toe...Then Frankie moves in and drowns me, big toe and all in a hunert gallons of alcohol...more pain and sufferin, will this day never end???? I didnt even get the courtesy of a "war wound bandage". Just a, "keep it from getting TOO DIRTY, or you'll be back for me to amputate your leg, up to your "semi-bright" blonde head"says good ol Doc Gould, joking and laughin with my dad...I didint even know what "amputate" meant, but I knew it didnt sound good...probably let Frankie stuff me in one of her many 55 gallon drums of alcohol, and just pickle for a while...I do that from the inside now, with Jack Daniels, my best friend...
I think it cost 2 dollars for an office visit back then, and that was a lot of money, that my dad wasnt gonna get back, because "I really did it this time" ...
Got home, and went immediately to my room, the back porch, and hid under the covers and fell asleep to the sounds of the sun setting, crickets cricketing, frogs froggin, dogs barking in the distance, and the sound of whatever TV show was on one of the two channels back in them good ol "Du Barrry, boy you really did it this time" days...
Me go barefoot???? I dont think so...I got real acquainted with steel toed boots real quick, and wear em to this day...OH, the one time I went barefoot, a couple a years back, yall may remember, I stumped my "this little piggy got none" toe on the same foot as the log under the toe nail, and broke "this little piggy got none" toe...now it's all bent and crooked, and I had such beautiful feet too...I could of been a foot model for sure...no more stone bruises looking for my foot...
Nope, it's steel toe boots for me...
Your frien and brother, the semi-bright "ya really done it this time" kid
Ol DOD...
|