Beau Wann, Jr.
Sore moanins mine Waltripians...I'm ok... now...just banged up from FRIC AND FRAC doin the watusi on me...Hey Rich LH, they was dancin like they didnt care...NO MORE DANCIN...
Just one lax moment...plus it was barely first light, had my back turned locking the door, didnt see the rat chahoouhoouh trespassin...my boys did...they took after that interloper at full gallop...wouldnta been so bad, cept my back was turned and one idiot was on one side, and the other idiot was on the other, the leash was wrapped firmly and securely around my left arm and hand, which if memory serves me correctly, and dont know why it should start now, but if my algebraic calcumalations are correct, two of the three bodies at rest, 200 pounds, went in motion, probably making them potentially 300 pounds, putting the one body at rest, 200 pounds, that wanted to remain at rest, in motion, backwards, and prone, and banged up, and PISSED OFF...and heading for THE MAGNOLIA TREE, and you dont need to be a physicist or a botanist to know, that MAGNOLIA TREE was the immovable object...Ike couldnt move it, and he weighed considerably more than I do...
If I coulda turned them two morons loose to get the rat chahoouhoouh, I woulda obliged em...they coulda had a early morn, after breakfast snack...but, Ol Murphy, taking up full time residence in my clothes, wasnt havin it...so now I'm tangled up with the marx brothers, on my back, being dragged across my yard, only about a foot...here is where the magnolia tree comes into play...you just know that on any one of my excursions, everything within 100 ft is gonna get sucked into the "VORTEX OF SEQUENCES" ...I'm surprised the cement pond didnt join in the fray...
I Hit the magnolia tree...yup, thats right, say it with me, "YOU HIT THE MAGNOLIA TREE AT WARP SPEED...AND STOPPED AT ABOUT THE SAME SPEED", jerking both, did I mention that they were morons, I did didnt I...jerking both morons off their stupid feet, and propelling them backwards, once again in my direction...my arm, being fully imbedded in the MAGNOLIA TREE...say it with me class MAGNOLIA TREE...noticed the release of tension, and using what was left of my strength, yanked Abbott and Costello further backwards, using a full body slam, and penning them to terra firma...I was so mad, I hollard "Darn it" real loud...you believe that, I have some ocean front property in Normangee for sale...
I hit that ol MAGNOLIA TREE so hard, knocked half the leaves off...now, not only am I gonna hurt, but now have to rake the danged yard...when it rains...well, never mind, it never rains here in Southern California...
So, to make a short story long er, I dragged Curly and Moe back in the house, and "they didnt get no stinkin walk, or no stinkin treats"...so, after I collected myself, and I mean collected myself, pick up an arm here, a leg there...I took off what was left of my clothes, and got in the shawer...(yes I know it's spelled wrong, but I do delight in breakin the rules on some occasions, and this is one of those occasions)
Put water on melt down, and just sat there wantin to weep, but being a tuff ol he man, no weepin is allowed...my lovely bride asked what was wrong...she just had a ask...I pointed towards the rags I was left with, the grass stained and magnolia tree wrought clothes...I told her what happend, and she left immediately, to check on dopey and dufus, to make sure they were still alive...
I was pretty sore when I shut the water off, and consequently missed my pacyderm breakfast, and they are so tasty, and missed Fudds...I wanted to go, but I was hurtin, mad, and otherwise pissed off cause I couldnt go...well, I probably could have, but I was lousy company...and Wednesday, I had to be better, cause I commited me and Cooper to go to two Places, Omega house day center, and Omega House Hospice...after going there, I felt bad about feeling bad...
Those folks dont leave the Hospice...alive...The lady in charge, says the faces change every month...who you see in september, will not be there in October...
As me and Coop limped around both places, ol coops smile did seem to bring smiles to a few of the folks...Dont think I will be going back there, not because of the sadnes of the situation, allthough that would be a good reason not to go back, but because it is so hard to load and unload Cooper so many times in one day, plus I dont get to sit down and recuperate from loading and unloading him, like I do when he goes to his reading classes...we keep moving through the rooms and hallways etc, greeting folks...so by the time it is time to go, I am limping quite noticably, then I have to get his ramp out of the back of the truck, for the umpteenth time, and unfold it,for the umpteenth time, all the while holding on to Coops leash, whilst he is playing "bloodhound" with every blade of grass and rock and tree...
by the time I get him in the back seat, and the ramp folded up and in the bed of the truck, for the umpteenth time, I am just exhausted...and this time still hurting from our little tete' a te' from yesterday...I guess thats how you say it and spell it...I really dont much care at this point...
But all in all, I'm good...just sorry I missed seeing all you good folks at Fudds...I do so look forward to Fudds...now it will be another month before I get to see ya again...but look what I get to look forward to...sometimes anticipation is as gratifying as what is anticipated...well, you know what I mean...
DW has been so sweet, waiting on me...but then, she is always sweet...I guess I'm kind of weird, (boy, there's an understatement) but I dont like being waited on...I'drather do it myself...
Hey Burge, that ol Tugboat is some character...looks like he had the same trainer as Cooper and Jack and Big Oliver...You know, you ought to have Tugboats picture blowed up and made into wall paper...wouldnt that brighten your day everyday, just staring at that???? Of course, you have the real deal sacked out on the couch...bet you could market that wallpaper...or make posters...I know I'd buy one...that ol boy is about as cool as they come...
First Kiss???? Hells bells, I've kissed so many...right now, I'd kiss my pharmacist if he could give me some GOOD DRUGS...no pain, no side affects, let me sleep bout 12 hours...yeah, give em a big ol kiss...
I dont remember what I had for breakfast, let alone my first kiss...of course my first kiss of the day, is from one of my kats, waking me up so I can get breakfast going...if that doesnt wake me up, Big Oliver jumps on my stomach and bladder, and bites my nose...shucks, just jumpin on my stomach is sufficient, the nose bite I guess is the coup de gras... he leaves nothing to chance when it comes to food...
Hmmm, first kiss you say....hmmmm....I guess the one that took, would have to be my Beloved...I'm such a romantic...you know, I proposed to her in Wendys on Mangum at 18th street...nothings too good for my DW...yup, gave her a ring and uh, "will ya"???...havent been back to that Wendys since then, and thats been almost 30 years...why that Wendys???? I have no idear...just happened that way...she knew she was in for the time of her life after that...yessir, "burgers and frys and cherry pies" ...
now, its "share a meal from Angies Diner"...see, we've progressed...the good thing about it, is she doesnt mind...about as good a sport as there is....good thing too...we've been through a lot together...that and the cement pond...
Ok, time to sing off...Oh, Bernd, beautiful sweet little girl that Alma...My Grandaughters are too big to sit in my lap and let me read to them...I miss that...I loved reading to them as much as they loved being read to...in fact, got down one of the books I use to read to them...it is every nursery rhyme and childs story ever printed...in fact it is a series of about 11 books for children, copyright 1955...I just love old books, dont you????...
I believe I was signing off wasnt I...just cant seem to stop yakin can I...
ok, your frien and smokey bears frien
DOD...
Post Script: What is BTW???? I dont know all the texting jargon...Scotty had to tell me what LOL is, or maybe it was Paige...anyway, someone should put a book out on texting...
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