Beau Wann, Jr.
Goot eefening myne fyne Waltripynes. It's Friday ! ! ! Big whoop! Been remodeling one of our baths, taking out the single slipper claw footed tubs and building a tile shower. I dont know what we were thinking having two of those tubs put in, neither one of us is a "tub" person, and if anyone stays with us, they have a hard time getting into the tub because the sides are so high. I think we are going to list it on Ebay. They cost 850 dollars new, so I'm thinking 2000 dollars. Yeah, that's the ticket, it'll be a seller for sure.
Today was the opening of the WCF (Washington County Fair) and I didnt get on this thing early enough to infor youse youtes. It's free admission till Wednesday, then it'll cost you. $40 dollars a person for all the rest of the days, or 9 dollars? a person a day? Us old veterans get a discount, maybe half off? Dont really remember from last time. Slept many times since then. I've got a good memory, it's just short! ! !
I really wanted to go tonight, cause they opened up the Mechanical Bull at 6 pm, but works didnt leave till 9PM. Yeah, I wanted to be first on that ol Mech bull like I know each and everyone of you to also to. Today is some sort of pitch tournament, and Margarita Judging and steak shoot out judging. I judge I'd like a margarita and just pass on shooting a steak. I mean, why shoot it again, it's already been shot!!!!
Tomorrow is all sorts of things like Bean judging...So ifin you got any bean you want judged, taker out there. I guess they'll say, "ah judge this bean to be a....BEAN"! I dont know if you judge it on color, or size or potency, ie methane. Well, there's other things like a heifer and steer show. Dang, I haint been to one of them thangs in a coons age.
There's also a "Washer" tournament...I guess you take your washer up there and whoevers clothes come out the cleanest, wins! Oh, and the Mechanical bull opens again at noon, then there's chicken judging, "ah say boy, ah do declare this heah to be a chicken" so sayeth Foghorn leghorn. More bean bag tournaments, craft beer round up...???? Hmmm, ahm a thinking ahm gonna leave thatun alone.
Sunday is a big day, Cowboy Church gathering and then at 6 pm, Carcass Hog Weigh in and Evaluation. Boy, cant wait for that one! Monday's a set up day for "Country Creations Exhibits check in. Tuesday they open up the Country store, and the carnival opens, and again they turn that ol mechanical bull a loose, golly I'm going to go everyday, not! Well it is free till Wednesday!
Wednesday there's something going on from 7 AM till past 9 PM. :Lots O stuff, like broiler and turkey shows and barrow show and some more of my all time favorite, Carcass Hog event. Yeah buddy! ! ! Of course there is a "Comedic Juggling show". Yeah, that'd be me trying to carry two drinks and two corn dogs and some popcorn and cracker jacks all at the same time. Oh yeah, they open up that ol mechanical bull again, thank goodness.
Oh, oh, oh, they crown the 2019 Fair Queen at 7PM. I know yall dont want to miss that one. Then at 9 Jake Hooker and the outsiders will be entertaining the masses. I'm just worn out tell all yall about this great and amazing stuff.
Thursday is senior citizen day, dont perzactly know what that means, maybe all yall will get a discount in to see the Hog carcass toss or something. I know, you can ride that ol mechanical bull for half price, yeah, that's the ticket. I can see all youse old folks lined up to do that. Bri Bagwell and Jesse Raub Jr will provide the entertainment from 8 till midnight. (Bri is a good looking babe) Dont know ifin she can sing or not, but who cares, I love er!
Friday is Veterans day, and all youse vets get in for half? Maybe? Lots of goings on on Friday and Saturday, including that ol mechanical bull. I'll bet that ol boys gonna be tired at the end of next Saturday. There's also the usual calf scramble, I prefer scrambled eggs myself, but different strokes eh waht. Got a wild steer saddling contest, and dont get me to guessing abouot that one. Here's two of my all time favorites, greased pig wrangling and hay hauling. YEAH! THAT'S WHAT AHM TALKIN ABOUT! ! !
I've been practicing on the dogs and cats, but they just aint diggin it. Now howm I gonna win if I dont get to priactice? Eh? Oh well, our critters just have no sense of duty towards a true artist in Hog carcassing. Does cooking bacon count? Ahm thinkin It do!
there's lots of doings going on at the 151st WCF. Last couple of times we went, I didnt find all that much to do or see. The food is not near as outstanding as the Fair Food you see on the TV show "CARNIVAL EATS". In fact I'd say it's just barely edible. We had corndogs and lemonade and maybe fries, nothing special about that, and that's about all was offered. Maybe we just didnt go down the right aisle.
We looked at the rabbits and chickens and turkeys, and they all looked the same. Well, the rabbits and turkeys and chickens didnt look like each other, but all the rabbits looked like they were all from the same litter, Turkeys looked like bros and sis, if not kissing cousins. Same with the chickens, all the aforementioned were white, and didnt look especially edible. You could see who won ribbons, generally it was kids from prominent and well known families.
The Fair Queen is judged only by how many tickets to the fair she sells, or rather her family and friends sell. They set out in the HEB parking lot and other places around town and the parents and siblings sell the tickets whilst the future Queen is...doing what? Probably sleeping in or Iphone stuck to the end of her nose. How's that teaching them anything, they win because someone else does their work for them.
Oh well, I guess you're not suppose to judge one by ones beauty or lack thereof, just by the number of tickets your family and friends sell. I remember trying to sell tickets to the Boy Scout Fair down at the coliseum. they were $.50 cents, which was a lot of money in 1953 or 54 or whenever that was. Didnt sell a one. I cried. Yup, cried like a idjified baby. I did get to go to the Fair as a candy apple vendor. Had a box with a strap to go round my neck, and red balloons tied to welding rods to look like candy apples on a stick. Also got a painted on mustache, even had some kind of hat on, yeah, I was cool.
Well guess I'd better deplane, my bottox is getting tired sitting in this here chair, and my fingers are gnumb from tippy typing. All that ,and the dogs are snoring and driving my crazy. Seems wherever I go, they like to fall asleep close to my ears. How Ironic, cant understand what anyone is saying, but dang sure can hear noise. I was down locking the gate last night and actually heard the crickets for the first time in years, I thought, wow those bubbas are loud until I remembered I had my hearing aids in. Hmmm, so that's what crickets sound like nowdays, same as they did when I could hear without help.
I believe I was signing off wasnt I, keep the sun at your six and "ride boldly ride..."
Your frien and resident sooth sayer and all round hell of a swell fellow, Cephus R county fair King esq
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