Beau Wann, Jr.
It's me again Margaret ! Benn trying to get on here for last week or so, by the time nites come around, I'm too exhausted. I keep having to correct wprlds, (like the last one) sure gets tedious.
Having a hard time trying to find the correct balance between doing too much or just right amount, and the right amount of rest. Pert near impossible for me. there's just so much to be done.
Stopped riding my motorcycle last year due to the brain trouble, have a Jeep that is open and windy and fun to drive, unteel now. Spent a bunch to get a new carberator and other things fixed, Tride to take it out one day this week, and lo and bhold, coudnt get it in gear, strandard trans 5 speed. So now the clutch will probably have to be worked or , or replaceed, if they can even find parts. They had a heck of a time tring to find a carburator to it. Cant do the work myself, becasue my hands feel like they belong to someone else. Motor skills gone..
All I wanted to have a little fun, and my MC fit the bill, That taken away, the Jeep was the next best thing. now dont even htave that. But I do get to WORK WORK WORK probably till I'll dead, and at this pint, coudnt come soon enoth. Just aboslit;eu overrought bein sich and tired of being sick and tired. .
cant type, cant spell, cant read, cant write, bareley talk. Cant hear or see. I mean, what the hell is the point I dont seem to be getting any batter, and it's been almost 6 month, and monday I'll begin chemo, oh joy. Hard to get dressed and undressed anymore,
Sorry, for the pity party, It just get to me, having to struggle all day everyday, to do the things I took for granted, not really looking forward to any fun at all, are anything at all..
I know, give it to God !!!! I did that 6 months ago, God must really be dispeased with me, because I havent heard from him since then.. Maybe he's tried, but my line is busy, I dont know, but I do know that I'm very tired. Now one of my only joys id my kittly sleeping in my arns, wonder when that will be taking away.
I really wanted to give the Chappell Hill spring report, got sad and mad got to better of me. Saw our first Hummingboid of the season last Thursday. The ones that dont migrate to mexico shoud had been out by now, except for the polar vortex, 5 degrees and a snow sotrm. Haveing seen any of the ones that migrate yet. Diane has about 6 ir 9 feeders out for the delicate little things.
The bees have been suppin at the feeders in absents of the HBirds. Our red fox family, just mon and dad have been cavorting and playing tag on the hill in the east pasture doen by the creek. Hawks have been courting one another. Saw mama and Daddy cardinal teaching junior to fly and cacth bugs. The blue bird family have not emercge with their oppspring as of yet.
Most all the roses and plants the we thought the freeze killed, are coming back, so hold off on cutting back and cutting down and digging up. Here is a plant I thought would still be here till the year 9595, the sasquasth, (ouisacth) if that is how you spell it. Those trees are prehistoric, miles and miles of root system. They shoudh be in bloom by now, nary a flarw or leaf hath reares lovety self
The Chappell Hill Garden Club is suppose to meet here this wendesday. Sort of looking forward to that, get to see new prople. Diane likes being the the GC. I encouge here to go on the feeld trips and to do anything she cant to get away from me and this never ending work pit. She pretty much has to help me to many things I can no longer do, plus take of the house and the dogs.
Shell get a break in me middle of june to attend a conferevner for her Bet Eta teachers organization, she's the president of here chapter. Then she gets to go again in July for a few days. I encourge her to go any and eveywhere to take a break from being my caregiver and house maid and outdoor yard crew. Nary a complaint from her. If she would go, and had someone to go with, I like to send her on a cruice for a couole weeks, or however long a cruice lasted.
Ok, best get ready to retired or the eving..Diane will have to help me get reasy dfor sleep that wont come.
Sorry for the pittly party, but I'm just trying to stay sane. If I get it out, than it sounds worse than it is, or maybe it's worse than it sounds.
And Here's the real kicker, our unofficial official grandughter Lucy, Had a misscarege in her 10th week. They had to operate and take the baby, no heart beat, could have lost both mom to be and Bady. I wory about her phisical and mental state afer such a traumatic event. Docs said the shoud be phiciallly soung in 6 month. She is welll looked afer, married a doctor, plus she works at the same hospital.
I know this post is a real bummer, so my apologies in advance, but just had to vent. I try not to vent to Diane because she has her hands full, althouht sometimes I get mad and throw things, not her, but she shoudnt have to witniss that infantile behavior. Who know, maybe I'll gett better, sure do hope so.
Keep the sun and your six and "ride boldy ride..."
Your frien and reident complainer griper, Cehpus R Tired esq .
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