| 03/01/10 11:59 AM |
#2318
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Beau Wann, Jr.
Good Morrow mine waltripdiplomians,
Hope all managed to dodge the tsunami this weekend!
It was nip and tuck here, but we managed somehow!!!
After all the "sky is falling" from the media and it never materializing, I fear that folks will be warned once again about some impending doom, and no one will heed it because of the many false alarms!!! I will admit, that after the tsunami warnings, Cole Creek and white oak bayou are up some, and the white water is running! Oh yeah...its been raining! Never mind!
Speaking of impending disasters, we attended a birthday party Friday night at of all places, "The Galleria"!
The children of our good friend and neighbor, came in from out of town to celebrate! One from Denver and the other from Seattle! We had forgotton all about it, until they showed up at our door, and said, "we'll see you tonight about 7:30"! I said "Ok, where we meeting", fully expecting it to be somewhere on this planet!
"Oh", they said, "we are having it at Del Friscos in the Galleria" !!!!! Those words struck the fear of God deep in my heart and soul! "Really" says I trying to not look shocked! Oh...ok...see you around 7:30!!!!!
Now, I hate going anywhere on friday night, or anywhere further than the Garage, that is!!!! Friday, the traffic never shuts down, people are running helter skelter, and amok on Fridays!!! So, here was THE GALLERIA, HELL, PERGATORY, staring me in the face!!!! I havent been to the Galleria in 30 years or more...on purpose!!!!
So me and me beloved get dressed, her in whatever she wore, and me in my best jeans and shirt and boots etc!!!
So Off we go, me complaining every mile about having to go to the dreaded G word!!! End of the whirld, woe is us, worse than a tsunami, the G word, or at least to me!!!! Soooo, after x number of miles, and many complaints, and many thought up excuses why we shouldnt go, we get there!!!! The restaurant is next to Borders on Westheimer! The traffic is lighter than normal!!! What gives??? Maybe we just might live through this night after all, but wait, it's still early!!!! Plenty of time for things to go to hell in a handbasket, or ford truck, whichever comes first!!!
So we pull in, and I notice that there is only Valet parking! Now, I'm the kind of guy that aint gonna pay some clown to drive my truck, just to park it!!!!
Now if others are lazy and or stupid and dont know how to park their vehicles, why do I have to conform to that!!!!!!!!! There is no parking on the westheimer side, period, but valet parking! What a racket!!!! You know, they want you to visit the stinking mall, and buy stuff, why should we have to pay to park too?????
Doesnt make sense to my way of thinking!!!
So I leave the parking area and pull out on Post Oak, all the while cussing and gripin, and my beloved just being quiet! She knows when to put up a fuss, and this aint one of those times! She knows how much I hate driving anything, but the tractor and my motorcycle, and not necessarily in that order!!!
So around the stinkin galleria we go back to sage street and onto westheimer again, and behind every EMPTY metro bus in the city!
Finally found a drive up into the garage, and it is about 30 stories up! Oh lovely, just lovely!!! Dont look over the side, dont look over the side, I tell myself!!!
We finally find a parking spot, and I open the door, and my luck is still holding strong, someone had thrown up right where I was to put my foot!!! My Beloved said she thought I could have jumped over it!!! "Take me now Lord"!!! I Closed the door, and backed out and found another spot!!!! Heavy sigh!!! At least we are directily over the restaurant!!!
So now we are looking for an elevator, all to no avail! So we come across some of those garage type stairs, you know the ones I mean, and thought it would be a short flight or two down! Oh no!!! It's about 9 down, and now, after 9 flights down, we are under the restaurant!!! "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..." I am really trying to hang onto whatever composure that I have left, and believe me, it aint much!!! So now we find some stairs to go up, and they go nowhere, except to a ramp! So up the ramp we go..."tramp tramp tramp, the boys are marching..."!!!
Finally we somehow get to the front door of the restaurant, and it's a revolving door! You guessed it, I HATE REVOLVING DOORS!!!! But in we go, and round and round we go!!! On the inside I am screaming, but on the outside, I am "Mr Cool" Steve McQueen his ownself!!!
We tell the gaggle of people at the front desk, "Darden party please"!!! So, off on the long trek through the bar, and restaurant, to the back, onto the elevator, and up we go! Hell, it was probably next to my truck all the time! So off the elevator we step, and down some hallways, across the upstairs dining room and into our own private party room, which was the wine cellar!!!
Greet everyone and everyone all smiles! Wish I'd brought some drugs with me!!!! We must have had a dozen waiters and waitresses, and there was only a dozen of us! The head waiter, RRRRRRRRRRamone recited the specials, and that must have lasted a half hour or so, and no one ordered any of them, I might add!!!
Now, this place, if you havent been there, and I hadnt, hell I didnt even know it existed, and coulda cared less, this was HOITIE TOITIE, and I just dont do HOITIE TOITIE! I am not comfortable with it, and never have been! I dont mind not being counted among the affluent, the "in crowd"!!! I dont mind eating tuna casserole! Mac and cheese is fine with me!!!
THE MENU!!!! Made me want to just put my head down and go to sleep!!!! I kept clicking my heels together, hoping to get to Kansas, or somewhere other than where I had landed!!!! I had no Idear that fatefull morning, that I would be visiting another planet in the evening!!!!
THE PRICES ON THE MENU!!! One of those, "if you have to ask, you cant afford it"! 40 dollars for a 6 ounce fillet mignon, and no price on lobster or other delicasissies!!! Even the little woman was taken aback by the menu!!! So we settle on the Fried shrimp 30 dollars, and some potatoes with onions, labled potatos and onions on the menu, for 10 dollars! So thats what we got! Time passes, and no food yet!!! Finally it arrives!!!
6 jumbo fried shrimp, that were very, uh, not tender!!!
And the potatoes and onions, were, homemade potatoe chips with sauteed onions on them! How clever!!!!
Friends this was just killing my soul to have to pay these prices for food that was at best mediocre! I will say this, it was edible! Well theres a plus!!!
We converse with a few of the folks there, the birthday boy and his children, who are very top notch folks! I just wonder how they settled on the Del Frisco!!! Well, most of em were lawyers and actors and one pro football player, so I guess they have to play the part! Now, if others like HOITIE TOITIE, that is just fine with me, but as stated above, I am not one of those!!! I dont need to put on airs, or have someone wait on me for a price!! It's just not fun for me, especially knowing how much it's gonna cost!!!
So, finnally the dinner comes to a close, after many speeches from friends and family of the beloved birthday boy! He is a nice guy, and 80 years old! I wish I would look that good at 80! But hell, that aint gonna happen, cause I already look a hundred now and I'm just 60 something!!!!
Here comes the check!!!! I cant read it because mercifully, I forgot my glasses! I know it was much, cause I could hear the breath being sucked in by my beloved! "How much is it" I whispered???? "Just give me your wallet" says she!!!! Uh Oh, this is gonna be bad! One of the few times I wish I was a drunk!!!
She takes some bills out of my wallet and puts em in the cute little book they gave us! I wanted to keep the book! Might a been a comedy! I coulda used a laugh or two at that time!!! So we say our goodbyes, and get plenty of hugs and kisses, and thats another thing, as hard as I try, I'm really not a huggy kissy kinda guy, but as I said, I do try!!!!!
So now, we have to try to find a way to find my truck, where ever in the hell that was! It probably left without me and was parked in my garage! But, I did have the good sense to ask the conciere (sp) if they knew how we could find our car again! Now, I was dressed in my cowboy sport coat, and leather vest, and silver belly stetson hat, dressed to the 9's or 7's which ever one you prefer! So the guy that helped us said, "not to worry, we can find your TRUCK" !!! I didnt even tell him we had a truck, he just assumed, correctly, but still assumed! I hate being assumed, dont you???
But he is nice, and stays with us and deposits us rat to the door of my truck! Of course, it only took a second to get from the restaurant to the truck, and a half hour from the truck to the restaurant! Go figure!!!!
There is one thing I left out, and that was the two visits to the mens room!!! I drank a lot of water, thinking it was free!!! Now generally my personal bathroom habits are just that, personal! But, they got a guy in a white starched coat in there that wanted to help me!!! Now, I have growed considerable since my momma use to hep me, and found I am pretty competent in that area, one of the few things I dont need hep on, thank you very much!!!! I thought I was gonna have to shoot him to get him away from me, and I was packin!!! I am always packin!!! Now you know why, for times just like these!!! Anyway, he is holding the soap dispenser and squirts some on my hands! DO I REALLY LOOK THAT STUPID, LIKE I DONT KNOW HOW TO WORK THE SOAP DISPENSER AND GET MYSELF A TOWEL TO DRY MY HANDS??????????? Come on, you can tell me, do I?????
I finally made it out of the bathroom, coming within a hairs breadth of having to shooting the attendant! I forgot, the rich still have to have someone help them pee!!! You'd think with all that money, they could afford private lessons on important stuff like that!
Oh well, such is life!!!!
So, we finally get to our truck, and out the garage onto westheimer, and it is 12 freakin midnight!!! Time flies when your having fun, and I was having the time of my life!!!
On to the west loop, and just tooling along, and lo and behold, it stops!!!! Will this night never end?????
Seems I wasnt privy to the highway dept closing all of 290!!! Oh wonderful!!! Time passes, and we finally get off on 18th street, and over to mangum, only to run into more traffic that had been diverted off 610 around 290 etc!!!
Finally moves forward after more time passing, and we get home and it is past 1 am!!! Now, I dont sleep all that often, but when I dont, I want it to be at home, is that too much to ask????
Got to run now, gonna find a greasy spoon dive and have lunch, just to wash the HOITIE TOITIE off me!!!
Your pard beauregard
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