| 01/21/10 10:27 AM |
#2070
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Beau Wann, Jr.
Good moanin kind and gentle waltripfolk,
It is a beautiful moanin weather wise eh!!!
Lots o stuff been happenin since before daybreak here at the beauzeau home, like I am sure has been happening at most everyones home!
The cats have been absolutely runnin amuck! Upstairs, downstairs and all points inbetween! I thought someone had broken in this morn and was upstairs! I thought it odd that the dogs didnt bark! I carefully chose the weapon most likely to do the job, my M1 Abrams tank, and carefully, stealthfully, and mad as hell for being awakend at such an hour, glided up the stairs! Can you imagine me gliding? Actually, I sound like a box of rice krispies on steroids when I glide!
I get upstairs, and look in the office, and the cat trees were all knocked over, along with papers strewn about! No prowler could I see!!! I checked Haleys room, and the cat trees were askance and askew, turned over!!!
No perp!!! Didnt have to check the closets, cause they woulda had to pull everything out to hide in there!
So next the game room!!!! I walk in and amazingly enough, the 1000 pound pool table is still upright and in its appointed spot! I did notice some sheet music strewn about! Opened both walk in closets! (can you imagine an idiot builder putting TWO, COUNTEM, TWO walkin closets in one bedroom????(they are almost as big as a bedroom themselves) Then not putting a linen closet in a house with 3500 sq ft??? Then putting a pantry in, the size of a postage stamp???? ) but I digress!!!
Where was I...Oh yeah, opening the closets, I find nothing amiss, if I had found a miss, I'd a been in trouble for sure!!!
Bout that time, I hear more noise coming up the stairs or going down! "How did I miss them"? I said to myself!!!
Now the hair is standing up on my head!!! Oh yeah, I forgot, I got no hair! Well, it was my phantom hair! Youve heard of phantom limb pain, from folks that have lost a leg or arm, and still feel pain or an itch in that area, even though it's not there??? Well, I have phantom hair pain!!! There's a new one for ya!!!
I whirls around and ZOOOOOOM, a whirling dervish, known as Annie-bob, was being chased by "fat boy Oliver-bob"! You bemember Oliver, our 22 pound Maine Coon??? That boy can move for being big as he is!
The two perps, were in full gallop, zipping around the room under the pool table, over the pool table, and through the other bedrooms, and then back down the stairs! First Annie-bob was in front, then Oliver was in front! I guess they couldnt make up their minds on who was chasing who!!!
I shoulda shot em both!!! I would have been within my rights! I thought that was a law, that two cats could not chase one another, tearing up a home in the process, all before daybreak!
I troop back down stairs, after I straightened out the upstairs "kitty playground"!!! Hells bells, it wasnt even 5 oclock, and now I am wide awake and just a bit perturbed!!!I Take my rice crispie noise making body down stairs and do what???? PUT ON SOME COFFEE!!! Youll get it right one of these days!!! I look in on DW and she still dead to the whirld! Even the dawgs were unconcerned!!! Shoulda took a hint from them!!! Oh well!
Time passes, after much zippin, they settle down methinks! I get to the bidness at hand, making the little womans lunch, and getting her coffee and breakfast, and filling her thermos and mine with the best coffee on earth! I take DWs coffee and breakfast into her spot in the dressing area, and hear more commotion going on, this time it sounded like it came from the kitchen!
Oh great!!!! Once again DW doesnt hear it, because she is using her hairdryer! I run, well, I hurry, more of a limp and a prayer, into the kitchen area, and pandamonium has broken out! (and I thought I had banished that Mr Pandamonium from the premises)!
Seems Annie-Bob and "Fat Boy" (herein after known as the dynamic duo) having rested sufficiently, resumed their village destroying antics! I had, moments before the dynamic duo detonation, filled all the water bowls, and even put a coffee mug, on the counter, with water in it for my little kitty Peaches, (she likes drinking out of my coffee mug, so I have to fool her and just put water in a look alike mug) and I had filled both thermos bottles and luckily had the tops on! The kitchen is under water from all the turned over water bowls and coffee mug, and both, countem, both thermos bottles were on the floor! BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!
I dont need this!!! Really!!! I dont know what the hell the two nutjobs got into, but I hope I find it and throw it away!!! I clean up all the water, and fill the water bowls back up, only half full this time, and pick up the thermos bottles! Good thing they are stainless steel, otherwise they would be broken! (Remember the old glass ones we had as kids? I broke many of those in my yout! I thought it was the end of the whirld when I broke one) Both thermoses were dinged up, lids and sides with plenty of dents now! I guess the nutjobs were just "antiquing" them for me!!!
Finally corralled the two perps into our bathroom! The little woman was still unawares of the commotion, asked, "why you bringing the little darlings in here"?
DONT ASK" says I!!! "JUST KEEPEM IN HERE"
More time passes, and the "little darlings" are both sound asleep! One in MY FAVORITE CHAIR, and the other upside down on the dinning room table! I know, I know, "you let your cat get on your table"???? No, we dont, and he is breaking the law, and I will soon have him arrested for it! Meanwhile, I am gonna let the little darling sleep, thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!
Little woman off to work, whirling dervishes all asleep, so me and Coop head out on patrol! What a beautiful morn it is! But I am exhausted!!!! It's not even 9 oclock!!! Help me Rhonda!!! (did we have anyone in our class named Rhonda??? I love that name!!!)
Down the street us two Dapper Gentlemen stroll, wondering if the dynamic duo is rearranging the house!
Well, we will cross that nuclear disaster when we come to it!!!
We get down to the "crick" (it is actually cole creek, but most folks just call it a bayou. I think Cole Creek sounds better, dont you???) and lots of activity from the nature community! Trees full of fat doves and othe birds! Cranes and other long legged and long necked white birds wading in the crick looking for breakfast! Oh, cool, one has a mudbug in it's beak!
A few turtles come to the surface for some much needed o2! I believe I axed this question before, where do the water turtles hibernate? Surely they cant do without o2 for 4 months can they!!!! There is even one huge turtle, that has flippers, looks kinda like a Kemp Riddley model, but they are saltwater! But it does have very distinct flippers, and a long long neck, sorta like the invaders from the 1950's movie with Gene Barry, I cant think of the name! Drat!!!
Well, back on the road to the nut house, me and Coop side by each, just enjoying the moment! GLORY BE, ANOTHER TREAT!!!!!!!!! Two Coopers Hawks, gathering nesting material! What truly magnificent looking creatures they are!!! They are both sitting in the same tree! They are huge!!! Well, compared to a sparrow, they are huge! Remember now, "everything is relative"!!!
They really are very large! Looked em up in my bird book!
Back at the nuthouse, and all seems normal! Well, normal for us! Floor not wet, thermos still on counter, nothing upside down, except Mr Fat Boy Oliver! Well, I guess I have taken up too much of your time reading this drivel! Sooooo, I will adjourn to my truck and run errands!
Remember, "only you can prevent forest fires"!
Goober says "Hey"!
Keeper of the nuthouse
beauzeau
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