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Beau Wann, Jr.
Good sunday evening, or is it monday morn???
No matter! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOMS OUT THERE! PROBABLY THE HARDEST JOB KNOWN...BEING A MOM...work never ends!!! I dont know if there is anyone out there that has a problem with holidays, or designated days for this or that, but the pressure I put on myself, is just more than it should be! This mothers day wasnt too bad!!!! Had 2 dozen roses sent to my mom this morn, and a card, and some post cards! She loves post cards! So I buy them everywhere they sell them, and send them to her all year long! Small things like that are the best!!! She called and thanked me for the roses and said she had never had TWO dozen at the same time before! So, I did something right for a change!!!
Woke up in a foul mood, not related to the 4 beers I had yesterday! Ever since I can remember, some one always says, "I guess you got up on the wrong side of the bed" etc...When I first heard that on a particularly cranky start to the day, I decided to try to reverse it and get back into bed and then get out on the other side...heavy sigh...didnt work...still doesnt!!! But, being a manic depressive, I know what is happening and can combat it, with relative success! Only took me the better part of a half century to figure it out, but at least I did!
But like I was saying, the morning, mothers day of all mornings, started out rather sour for me, whether real or imagined, I was still cranky! Fed the zoo, and nobody wanted to eat...fixed a bowl of cereal for myself, and reached in the fridge and got the carton of milk out, or so I thought it was milk, and poured it in the bowl of cereal!!! Yeah, you guessed it, it was the carton of orange juice! Both milk and OJ are in the same type carton, but one is blue and the other is, "SURPRISE SURPRISE", orange! I went ahead and put milk in on top of the ceral and OJ, and ate it! No big surprise there, just tasted like cereal and milk and OJ! But, I endeavored to persevere! I did have the forsight to get my beloved a card and small present and cut some of her favorite roses from her garden! One was deep pink and three were lavender! These particular roses just smell to high heaven! I put them and her present and card on her side of the sink, so she would be sure to see them when she started her day! She did...she smiled...I tried hard not to show the battle going on in my idiot brain, but she guessed what was amiss! I just hate having to do battle over the rights to my emotions, but have had to almost everyday of my life!!!
I remember fighting it in highschool...the emotional rollercoaster...up, down, up, down...I thought everyone was like that, but found out it was not so!!!
Today of all days, and like I said, it happens a lot on special days, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversaries, and all points inbetween! As Iwas grumbling, to no one in particular, just being a cranky old curmudgeon, I got the Sunday paper from the street, another reason to grumble! The paper girl, just cant, or wont get the paper any further than the curb! You know, it doesnt take more effort to do what is right, or go the extra mile if folks just would...So in the house I go, with yet another reason to be pissed at the whirld! I start the coffee, couldnt wait for that first sip, opened up the paper, and there is a picture on the front of a man and woman! Of course I couldnt see it at first, got to go find my glasses, another reason to be angry...tell me there are some of youse youts out there that experience this...tell me I'm not alone...
Find my furshlerginer glasses, and look at the picture and it is a husband and wife, and she is in a hospital bed! I read the story, and then get further angry for being angry at nothing in the first place!!! For having the gall to be mad at my stupid self, when here was a woman, that had given birth sometime last july methinks, and then she got a strep infection, which led to two strep infections, which resulted in a coma, and the subsequent amputations of her arms and legs...among other surgeries!!! HOW HORRIBLE what this woman and her family are now faced with!!! My beloved says this is not uncommon among women after childbirth!!! Never heard of it before!!! Well, I felt much worse now than earlier! And it was a feeling of disgust and self loathing at having EVER griped about anything! I dont know why this story hit me so hard! I even stood up in church, when the minister asked if there were any concerns or prayer requests from any of us, and I never stand up in church and say anything if I can help it!!!
I told the congregation about this story, and urged them to get the paper and read it, and that maybe we could do something to help this family, anything!!!! It could be an Oaks project, or better still a Presbyterian project, or even better still, the Northwest Alliance of Ministers project, or an oak forest project, or Houston project, ANYTHING TO HELP! Now, I dont usually jumpon a cause, especially for any self recognition or glory!!! But this woman will be traveling down the hardest road that anyone will ever have to face, or should never have to face, outside of losing a son or daughter, and I know we have plenty of that tradgedy in our small little class!!! And my heart certainly goes out to all that have suffered that...my heart truly does...
There are a couple of web sites set up for donations, and a blog on her progress! She has two other children, and did get to hold her new child!!! Now she can only hold them in spirit and in her heart!!!! I hope she gets held a lot from family and friends!!! As I said, I dont usually join in on causes, and if I do, I try to remain as anonymous and invisible as possible. But I just felt compelled to at least say something about this! I'm hoping this family has more help than they can use! Lots of good folks that are suffering, get left out, and left behind, and no one ever helps them...I just feel so bad for them all...and helpless to help!!! like all the critters I have rescued and saved and found homes for, sadly, we cant save them all!
I'm not asking anyone to give to this cause, or anycause, I just wanted folks to be aware of this families plight! At least we can all pray for her, as I'm sure most of us do for each other and our families and friends. This is Sort of, "I was griping because I had no shoes, till I met a man with no feet"...
I still feel bad for feeling bad, but I'm getting better! Ol special K (Koop) looks like a huge blonde angel stretched out on the couch sleeping...Jack is in the chair next to him, snoring...all critters are down for the night...all critters cept me!!! But, thats ok, got a lot o ponderin to do...
Every mothers day, my beloved gets kind of melancholy about not being able to have children, even though when she married me, she got three already born children, and didnt even have to go into labor!!! Of course now she does, when I do dumb things, like put the lawnmower in the pool, or run over her flawrs and or berry bushes etc...The kind of person she is, probably is much like most of you all, very good and kind! When she had cancer back in 87, and almost died, or actually did die, but came back, and the two major surgeries she had within a few hours of each other, and the year long chemo sessions that lasted an entire week out of each month, the weight down to 80 pounds because she couldnt eat, not being able to climb the stairs to get to her own bedroom, the loss of hair, and all the discomfort that goes with being seriously ill, do you know what the thing that worried her the most, or upset her...Losing the ability to have children...She still gets teary eyed when she thinks about it!!! I try to console her, in my ever clumsy way, by pointing out that she was very instrumental in raising my/OUR boys...taught them how to drive, drove them everywhere they needed to go, went to every function, sports activity allowable etc...Then I remind her of the hundreds, maybe thousands of children she has taught along the way in the past 32 years, the childrenthat were not her own, except at school, that she has bought clothes for, coats and shoes, ...Now that is an accomplishment not many men attain, if any!!! My beloved, is a very special mother, and one that I am privileged, and honored to call my wife! I'm not much, and feel like I cheated life, by not being the best that I could be! My accomplishments pale in comparison to what my beloved has achieved, so why she picked me, and why she stayed is certainly a mystery!!! God sure does move in mysterious ways, eh!!!
I know, I get silly on the forum, and do so out of a desire to entertain, and make people laugh and maybe, just maybe, forget about their troubles for a moment or two, and also to make my own failings tolerable by making light of them, which does seem to help me!!! I try to laugh at myself, and not take myself too serious! But I do have a serious side! My love of family and friends, and I count you all my family and friends, is no laughing matter, except when we laugh together! I hate it when others hurt!!! Seems my heart and soul takes on the pain of others in hope that it eases theirs! How silly of me, to think I can play God! But thats what happens when you are simple minded, or black and white, as I am!!!
It's late, or early if you will!!! I do look forward every 2nd tuesday, to seeing everyone, and am truly disappointed when some cant make it! Then it's another month till we meet again...But, look what I have to look forward to!!!! so, I will bid you goodnight, until we meet again...Happy trails, peace and love...
Your friend and brother, ol sweet tater beau DOD
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