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Beau Wann, Jr.
Good eefening mine waltripians,
Gonna try to make an entry! The forum is acting wierd! It now has a heading like in MS WORD. Did you do that jackie??? Or did my computer do that??? Last long entry I made, just disappeared! So I will try again! I do notice it has word wrap! It also double spaced at the top, as you can see. I further noticed, that mine was the last entry! Smatter, cant get in, too busy? Yeah, I know how it is, full dance card. Played at the church talent show on Sunday! Almost all of our classmates were there, those that werent know who they are! But it was a great turnout, about two or three hundred thousand! Everyone agreed that "I was great"! DougR was there, and those of you that were there, know he was there! Anyway he has agreed to be my agent! He said the Country Music Awards people called his people and wanted us there, but scheduling was just too tight! Told em I'd make it next year, maybe!
My left knee has been hurting all to heck and gone! Right knee aint a whole lot better! Been switching between ice and hot rice bags! Doesnt hurt so bad when I stay off of it for a while, and keep heat on it, and elevated, but who the heck can stay off their feet??? I got entirely too much to do!!! Took Coop and Jack on a much needed limp (patrol) this morn! Alls quiet on the western front! Cole crick runnin smooth again after the rain! Got all the stagnant water flowing into the White Oak!!! Saw a couple of those fishing birds, you know, the ones with the long skinny legs and long sharp beak! Ever now and again, I see one of em spear a crawdad or a minner. Honey suckle in full regallia! Can there be any sweeter smell from our yout than honeysuckle??? I bemember we use to pull the little flawrs off and suck on them. The juice was sweet! Tried one today, and bleah, no taste at all! Ol Coop was gonna lift a leg on em, but I moved him to the nearest pine tree. that woulda been pure sacrilege havin a ol dawg peein on the honeysuckle!
Got a sawbones appt with Dr Lykover on Tuesday! He's also my back doctor, and apparently everyone elses! Hope he can fix my bum knees! Maybe do an MRI on em! What if I have to have an operation, and get me one or two of those digical bionical metal knees????? I wonder if I will be able to pick up radio or TV or satellite on em. If people could pick up radio stations on the punny little ol fillings in their teeth, why not satellite on a metal leg???
I remember getting my first filling back in my DuBarry days. Methinks I was 10 or so, give or take, when I got my first filling. Hurt like hell too!!! Anyway, I heard about people receiving radio signals on the fillings in their teeth, so why not me??? I started off in my room, or the back porch, if you prefer, and wasnt getting doodly squat for reception, so I opened my mouth pointing in every direction! Nope, no radio signal!!! So, I went outside, at first on the carport, still no ball game, or nothing! I thought, "aha, maybe I need an antennae"! So I go back inside the house and find a coat hanger! Shucks that ought to conjure up some type signal!!!
Went back outside and held it up in the air and rotated it and myself all around, and still no luck. So I reshaped the coat hanger to look like one of those circle ones that was always in "Flash Gordon" movies. "Surely that ought to do the trick" I said to no one in particular. So I held up my "Flash Gordon" antennae and moved out into the driveway, away from the house! I thought, "man there's too much iron ore in the driveway, so I'll just move out in the front yard". So now, I'm standing in the front yard, holding a bent up coat hanger in the air, with my mouth open, just hopin fo one o them stray signals to pop into my punkin haid.
Up drives my dad! This might not go to well with him around!!! I'm kinda rotating clockwise at first, making a 360 degree sweep, and then counterclockwise, and I also am twirling the bent up coat hanger in the air, and with my mouth open. Dad hollars at me, "BOY, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"??? I really didnt want to answer and risk disturbin any of them good ol radio signals that were looking for a good filling, but if I didnt answer, I knew my backside would be getting a different kind of signal. I start to answer, when he hollars, "NO, JUST SHUT UP, IDONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING", and he goes into the house! I hear him bellow at my mom, "WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOU IDIOT SON UP TOO NOW"??? I hear her say, "well he's your son too"!!! "NAW, CANT BE MINE, MUST A BEEN A MIX UP AT THE HOSPITAL, YOU SURE YOU PICKED UP THE RIGHT BABY" he says!!! "Calm down" my mom says, "he's trying to pick up a radio signal from the new filling he just got"!!!
"WHAT" , my dad asks incredulously???? "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" he exclaims! "THE IDIOT HAS A CRYSTAL RADIO AND WE HAVE A COUPLE OF OTHER RADIOS AND HE HAS TO STAND IN OUR FRONT YARD WAVING A BENT COAT HANGER IN THE AIR, WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN TO RECEIVE A SIGNAL"????? He hollars out the window, "HEY MORCONI, GO STAND IN SOMEONE ELSES YARD, WILL YA, I DONT WANT THE NEIGHBORS TO KNOW YOU LIVE HERE". As if they didnt already know the "Duke of DuBarry" lived here!!! My mom says, "we're about to eat supper, so dont go too far"!!! I could hear my dad, "NO, GO AS FAR AS YOU LIKE, MAYBE WE CAN GET THE DOG TO BRING YOU SUPPER, IF HE AINT TOO ASHAMED TO BE SEEN WITH YOU"!!!! Cool, me and Lucky was gonna have a picnic and listen to radio at the same time!!! Things were looking up!!!
"MARGARET, IF THAT BOY COMES IN TO THIS HOUSE WITH ANY OF THEM SPACE ALIENS FROM ROSWELL, BECAUSE OF HIS TOOTH, I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT HIM" my dad further exclaimed! "You'ld shoot your own son" my mom said aghast! "NO, NOT THE MORON, THE SPACE ALIEN. NOW I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS BRAINS, YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY" my dad said! My mom said, "Now Harold, dont go shooting any space aliens, cause you dont want to start a space war". My Dad said, "UNBELIEVABLE, HE'S GOT YOU THINKING THERE IS SUCH A THING AS SPACE ALIENS AND RADIOS IN HIS MOUTH, GET ME TO HELL A BEER, AND WHEN TO HELL IS SUPPER"??? See, my dad didnt believe in ghosts or aliens or anything that didnt make any sense to him, but I BELIEVED IN EVERYTHING!!!!!
It was getting dark out, and the lightening bugs were flashing their code, which I have never been able to break, and I thought I heard a werewolf howl, so in the house I go, disappointed that I didnt get one signal! Well, I did get a signal from my dad, that I was "techted in the head", but then I already got that signal long time before this!!! Ah, just in time for supper! I sit down at the table and promptly get, "get rid of that stupid coat hanger and wash your hands" from my dad! So I do, get rid of the coat hanger, actually I stuffed it under my bed, where I hid all my other treasures, rocks and sticks and army men and tanks and trucks and stuff! Oh, and I wash my hands, careful not to get too much soap on them, lest I wash what good I had on me, off!!!So, I sit down to some good ol chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, lima beans, and a tripple treat, fried okra and fried green tomatoes and blackberry cobbler and vanilla ice cream!!! YUUUUM!!! The day wasnt a total waste after all!!!
"you sure you want to eat boy", my dad asked, "you might mess up the reception in your radio mouth" he chuckled. My two sisty uglers, were on me like a duck on a junebug! Of course to them I was "stupid, dummy, idjit and moron"! My mom tried to stick up for me, but even she found my new escapade comical!!! But she did say that I probably got the idea from the TV show "You Asked For it", which I did, that and that woman that kissed a cobra with out getting bit! Now not even I would do something that stupid!!! I wouldnt even want to shake hands with one, let alone kiss one!!!
You know, to this day I never picked up one stinkin radio signal on my teeth! What a disappointment! I'll have to ask my sons if they get any signals on the metal in their legs! Billy "Quick draw magraw" has a stainless steel rod for a femur and Kevin "Krash" Michael has titanium for a lower right leg. Shucks with that much metal, they ought to be able to pick up satellite signals!!!
Guess I will sign off for now...Oh, speaking of radio signals, my young son, Kevin "krash" michael, has a radio station or talk show on the internet. I listened to it for a few minutes. He even has people call in, so they both can go "uh uh uh" countless times! Dont ask me how he got his own radio show, I guess through the fillings in his teeth or his titanium leg! I wonder if he has to leave his mouth open and stick on leg in the air for good transmitting and receiving??? Now that's a mental picture for you!
If anyone out there has picked up KILT or KNUZ on thier teeth, let me know, ok???
Keep the sun at your 6 and your mouth open and hold a bent coat hanger up
your friend and sweet tater, beauregard cephus
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