Beau Wann, Jr.
Gooooooood Morning Chappell Hilllllllll... Rainy Morning I might add. .28 hundredths of an inch this morning. Sat out on the deck with the dogs having coffee...uhm, I had the coffee, Jack and dixie dont drink coffee, but it was nice anyway. Wanted to say we watched the sun come up, but all we got to see was first light and lots O clouds. Put on some Christmas music in the ice house and let it waft out over hill and dale !
When "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" came on, it really doesnt look like that at all being above 70 and warm as toast. Winds suppose to shift around to tthe noth sometime tomorrow, then look out, a frosty 49 is headed our way. Being up here in the high country, we'll get to feel it before all yall will.
Settin and drankin (east texas for Sitting and drinking) coffee got me to thinking about breakfast, as coffee is want to do. "Hmmmm", says I, "maybe we'll just have to have PANCAKES this fine morning". Ok, pancakes it is. Into the house I sprint, well, sprint is just a tad strong, maybe stroll, or limp, yeah, that's the ticket, doesnt matter how I got there, long as I got there.
Ok, as Chef Beauyardeeufous, I start whuppin out my mixin bowls and flawr and all kinds of pancake makins,, then I commence to making pancakes. I carefully measure out the flawr, well, if not carefully, then maybe haphazardly would be a more correct term. Whatever! I measure out a cup and some, and then water, then it's too runny, so I add flawr, then it's too gummy, so more water, then it's too runny, ok, then some more flawr it is, then it's too gummy....so I says to myself, I says, "self, get the mixer out", so my self gets the mixer out.
So I'm mixin and singin and stuff and things are looking pretty good, cept now, the mix is a tad too runny, so I add some flawr to it whilst the mixer is mixin, and my hand sort of slips, you know, as hands are want to do, slip, so in goes a bunch of flawr, and when it hits those mixing thingies, it creates sort of a "flawry fog" in the kitchen. When the flawr smoke clears, there is flawr everywhere! So really, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere I go..." sort of fits, and looking every bit like it's going to be a "white Christmas", seeing as how I got us a good start going this fine morning.
Hmmmm, guess I'd better get this mess cleaned up. It really wasnt all that bad, none of it got on the ceiling, ha and you thought it was a catastrophe! Bout that time the hall door opens and out comes Diane. Hmmm again, maybe she wont notice the extremely white, white guy in her kitchen, or that it looks like the "Pillsbury Deauxboy" had exploded.
I've found over the years, nothing much that I do phases her anymore. She calmly walks over to the coffee pot, says, "oh great, you made coffee", pours herself a cup and just as calmly as she came in, out she goes the same way. Maybe she didnt notice! ! ! How could she not, even the coffee pot was white with flawr...
Might I just add, flawr is not easy to clean up as it has a way of getting into every crack and crevice and crook and nanny in the place. Well sirs and ma'ams, I finally get er cleaned up, and put a spoonful of batter on the griddle, and it's so runny, it runs right off the griddle onto the counter, onto my foot onto the floor. Heavy sigh!!!!! Good thing I had my steel toe boots on eh! ! ! Got that cleaned up and very very carefully add just a tad more flawr, and voila, the batter is just right. So now I'm "cooking with grease" and making really fluffy pancakes. YEA! ! !
Of course I have enough batter to feed Pattons 3rd army, but what the heck, that's what they make freezers for, eh what! Breakfast went smoothly, and I only burned the sausage on one side! So when I put it on the plate, the good side is up! Ha, now how you gonna be? And I only missed one of the glasses when I poured the OJ. So, no harm no foul! An aside here, buy stock in the paper towel industry!
Called Diane on the intercom and told her breakfast was ready, to which she replied, "is it safe"? Oh man, wounded me to my soul.... Oh ye of little faith. I saw the hall door open just a crack, and a couple beady eyes surveying the situation, finally she came out and saw all was under control, as well as a thin blanket of white flawr. To her credit she didnt mention anything about the above adventure, just that I had flawr on my face, top of my head, shoulders, arms, but none on my botox, ha so there, take that!
The pancakes were really good, sausage was good, chewy, but good, and alls well that ends well! I think tommorroww, (does tomorrow have that many double letters?) we'll have scrambled eggs. Better alert the chickens, I'm coming for their babies!
You know, it's 12 noon ! ! ! How did it get so late? Ok, time to start thinking about lunch....hmmmm what shall we have? Got left over tater salad and sausage, and beans and chicken left over from the Fall Fling, of course and BEER. Would you believe 7 cases of b eer left over? If I liked beer, I'd be a happy camper, but I couldnt drink that much beer in a hunert years.
Maybe I'll make beer pancakes tomorrow...! Nah, scrambled eggs is much more better. I think I'll take the beer down to the creek and see if I can get that ol hawg drunk, then put him in the witless projection program and relocate him! Yeah, that's the ticket.
Ok, time to deplane boss...keep the sun at your six and have scrambled eggs rather than pancakes..
your frien and resident Chef Beauardeescephus, esq
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